Being a parent I’ve been awakened from precious sleep in many ways. There’s been the screaming babies, the kid that stands over you staring until you wake up (which is terrifying, by the way) but this morning I woke up to something that made me smile. My older two kids were singing a song they made up to celebrate Layla’s Gotcha Day. Today we celebrate Layla’s fifth year home. Sometimes I can’t believe it’s been five years and other times it feels like we’ve been a family of  five forever. This year has probably been our toughest year in regards to adoption issues. When we brought her home we had such an easy transition. We had prepared for things like the older two having a hard time adjusting, Layla not bonding with us, the possibility of health issues. But we ended up with a seamless transition. The older two loved her before she ever came home and were so happy to have her here that there was never any issue with jealousy or any of the other things older siblings can go through. The bonding took no time at all and even though she came home with pneumonia it cleared up and she’s been healthy and thriving since. But this year, this year has been different. I don’t know if it the fact that she started Kindergarten and was thrown into this big world she wasn’t used to, or that she’s reached and age where she can finally voice feelings she’s had for awhile or a combination of the two.  The biggest thing we’ve dealt with this year is fear of other people seeing her as different. The first week of school I overheard Layla tell Noah, “I’m afraid people are going to make fun of me because I’m brown and your white and I’ll be embarrassed.” I rushed out to tell her that we are all different and unique and that’s not something anyone should make fun of and certainly not something to be embarrassed about. I tried to fit as much sage knowledge about self confidence and being proud of our family’s story as I could in the five minutes before they had to leave for school. And then once they had left, I went in my room and cried. After years of having this same conversation, it broke my heart that this fear was running through my daughters mind. And it seems to come up in any “new” situation. Starting school triggered it and we’ve experienced the same thing with her starting ballet. I thought if we prepared her enough, had enough conversations we’d be able to get over these hurdles with relative ease. The last major hurdle we had was her wanting to be white since the rest of her family was, but we were able to get over that one with one conversation. This one is lasting much longer and proving much harder to overcome. But that is why I’m thankful for days like today. A day set aside to celebrate that moment that she entered our arms and we swore we would never let her go. A day that she is proud to tell all her friends about because she is reminded of how loved she is, not only by us but by her community as well. She’s been looking forward to her Gotcha Day all week and today there is no fear in her, only joy.